Anyone who is interested in making change in the world
also has to learn to take care of herself, himself, theirself.
Angela Davis
We’ve talked about self-care this week, starting with identifying some of the little activities we can engage in that demonstrate care for ourselves, like taking a few minutes to dance or listen to music or taking a brief walk.
And, in addition to identifying little self-care activities, we recognized that there are the big categories of self-care activities that really matter a lot. Doing lots of “little self-care” activities is nice and may add up to a more enjoyable life, for sure.
But if you have major unmet emotional needs, you may still tend to be attracted to emotional eating or drinking. If you experience chronic stress or insomnia, your self-care may require that you really tackle that problem, and discover resolutions. These are the “big stuff” of self-care and it’s not uncommon for us to need to prioritize working them out.
We are also becoming more and more clear that prioritizing healthy eating is a major self-care commitment. We simply are not going to feel well and function well for a healthy, long, active life if we don’t commit to eating in a way that makes our body truly healthy and happy.
Maybe we need to commit to RADICAL self-care.
… to seriously consider the possibility that our self-care MUST be a priority, or none of the other things we do are going to work out.
I certainly was realizing that, if I didn’t take good care of myself, no one else would. And I would become– was already becoming– less capable of taking good care of others, too.
Hell, if I ended up in a nursing home in my 60’s, which was looking increasingly likely, I wouldn’t be of much good to anyone. And I wouldn’t have anywhere near the opportunities to thoroughly enjoy life that I have “on the outside.”
When I thought about it, it seemed crazy that I believed that giving and giving, while seriously neglecting my own emotional, physical, mental, social, and spiritual self, was the best way to live.
When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible. — Brene Brown
So, what does it look like to engage in radical self-care? I would love to hear what it looks like for you.
For me, it’s mostly about being a better friend to myself, treating myself with loving kindness.
- When a friend is working through something, I listen.
- For a friend I love, I will take time celebrating the victories, big and small.
- When a friend is tired, I encourage her to rest. When my friend is sad, I encourage her to cry on my shoulder.
- When someone has treated my friend with disregard and hurt her feelings, I listen and care and treat myself with loving-kindness.
- When my friend is unsure what direction to take, I easily express confidence in her ability to figure things out.
If you’re like me, maybe you learned to treat yourself differently than you treat a friend you love. Maybe you learned to be critical of yourself, to avoid celebrating, to hide or numb your feelings, to avoid making anyone else uncomfortable by saying or showing what you’re actually feeling.
I hope I would never treat a friend I loved that way.
So, I go back and look at those statements, and determine to treat ME that way:
- When I am working through something, I listen.
- For myself, who I love, I will take time celebrating the victories, big and small.
- When I am tired, I prioritize rest. When I’m sad, I cry, and maybe look for a loving shoulder to cry on.
- When someone has treated me with disregard and hurt my feelings, I listen and care and treat myself with loving-kindness.
- When I am unsure what direction to take, I easily express confidence in my ability to figure things out.
Radical self-care, for me, is deciding that caring for myself, every day, in big ways and in small, is a priority.
My health and happiness matter.
I don’t want to treat anyone in a neglectful, disregarding manner. And that MUST include me.
I need to see my health and happiness priorities on the agenda every day of my life.
Committing to taking the time and effort to eat the highly nutritious, life-giving foods that truly make my body healthy and happy is radical self-care. It’s easier not to do this.
Although it’s gotten pretty automatic and easy and effortless, it would still be easier to eat the way everyone else eats. But, at this point, I KNOW that’s not good self-care and it doesn’t lead to a healthy happy life for me.
To me, it’s a radical shift, treating myself with the lovingkindness I would offer a friend I love.
Sending you love and wishing you radical self-care! How will that change your life?
