I sing when I’m cooking or cleaning or puttering around the house.
People who overhear me say “someone’s happy today!”
But I stopped. And I’m not sure exactly when that happened.
Maybe in March when the fear of the pandemic hit and I felt so uncertain about what I could do to protect myself and the people I love.
Maybe in July when my Mom discovered she was dying of lung cancer.
Or when I left Mexico in a panic to get to her.
Or when I got the call that she had died, while I was driving across two countries, still trying to get to her.
And then…
Anyway, it was a year!
And, somewhere in there, without realizing it, I stopped singing.
If you’re like me, you may have hoped that other life challenges would pause during the pandemic.
And they didn’t.
So many friends have also lost loved ones, or experienced major health issues. I have one friend who just had major heart surgery. Another whose husband was just told his cancer is no longer improving and his life is coming to an end much sooner than they hoped, and other friends whose children are experiencing scary troubles.
It can all become “too much.”
But I’m singing again.
Maybe you, too, have had moments this past year when you wondered how you could go on.
If so, I invite you to check whether some beautiful parts of yourself went underground.
If there are beautiful parts of you that are starting to show themselves again, I hope you celebrate them.
And, if you can’t think of anything, it may be a good moment to check in with yourself—what are some sweet parts of me, just my special ways of being me, that need some care and cultivation these days?
With a sweet, somewhat melancholy song in my heart, I am sending you warm regards in the new year.
