Do you take better care of everyone else but neglect your own care?
I know I took better care of everyone else than I did myself.
My approach to myself was, “Later.”
I’ll take care of everyone else now, eat or drink some non-nutritious treat to get some quick pleasure. And, later, I’ll find time for more meaningful self-care.
But I was starting to realize that “tomorrow never comes!”
Eating and drinking special “treats” all the time wasn’t working out very well for my health and happiness.
And it was becoming more and more important for me to learn how to make my own self-care a priority.
I used to love the idea of getting a massage for self-care. But that was more of a “one-off” activity. It didn’t make sense to abuse or neglect my body, my relationships, my emotional needs, etc. day in and day out, and try to fix it all by getting a massage once a month!
When I slowed down to look at my approach to self-care, I realized I had been raised with the idea that my WORTH as a human being lie in being of service to others, being pleasing to others, always putting everyone else’s needs above my own.
And that’s not all bad.
I know, when I see people who seem very self-centered and entitled, I certainly don’t feel very attracted to them.
And I don’t want to be like them either.
And I definitely find it very rewarding to help others become happier versions of themselves.
But I found there were a lot of drawbacks to neglecting my own self-care. You’ve heard some of the health issues I was experiencing. And, if I was honest with myself, I wasn’t taking great care of everyone else any more either. I lacked energy. I lacked confidence. I lacked joy and joie de vivre!
What drawbacks have you experienced from neglecting your own self-care?
Maybe even a better question is:
What difference could it make for you to become more skilled at taking good loving care of yourself?
Have you heard this term “radical self-care?” I was pretty curious about it. I knew it must be something more than “treats” and massages.
My next understanding was this: it is worthwhile to discover little self-care activities I can do at the drop of a hat– every day or even several times per day– to feel healthier, happier, more like I matter. Just affirming to myself that my emotional state matters — it makes a real difference.
Here is a list of “little self-care” activities that can help you practice self-care:
- Listen to a song that inspires you
- Dance around your living room
- Have a nice herbal tea, or sparkling water with slices of lime and orange
- Do a chore that makes you feel a little sense of success, like washing the dishes or organizing a bookshelf
- Spend a little time in nature
- Journal about your best qualities
- Name 10 things you’re grateful for
- Say a prayer or meditate for 5 minutes
- Take a walk
- Take a bath
- Read something that inspires you
This could become a really long list, right?
Now, you may really achieve a better life by adding up those kinds of little self-care activities. I would love to hear if you have! And how does it make a real difference for you?
As I see it now, there’s the self-care “little stuff,” there’s self-care “big stuff,” and then there’s a whole attitude shift toward radical self-care that can change the whole game.
So, next time, let’s talk about the “big stuff” of self-care and how to get RADICAL with it!
